dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
