While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
