Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
