I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
