the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
