To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
