you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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