I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
