My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
