he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
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