I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
