I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
