Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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