Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
