Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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