Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
ok first of all what the fuck
do nipples grow back?
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