yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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