Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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