Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
