Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I intend to get homeless drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
