hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
