I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
