i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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