I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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