dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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