Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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