whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
