Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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