so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I party with great urgency now.
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