i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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