I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Randomize
