Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i came on her dog
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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