so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
PANTIES FOUND
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