I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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