Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
