Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
