My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
