You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
