State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
