was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
