I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
