So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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