please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
