If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Randomize
