Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
