Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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