omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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