Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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