So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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