okay pat passed out under dana's car
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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