i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
